saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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