Where is the hickey?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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