Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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