Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
