bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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