grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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