none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
