My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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