Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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