butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
