It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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