Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
