How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
