they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
