what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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