is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
