Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
