sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I want to fling myself into the sun
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
