the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Let the clothes fall where they may.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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