Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
