I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
