Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
