I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
