hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
