I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
