he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
