he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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