the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
i think im in europe. pls send help
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
