I'm going to jail i love you
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He kissed a someone with a penis
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Actions speak louder than pants.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
