i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
