what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
