escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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