its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
