So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
