my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
