think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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