he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
