That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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