Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize
