omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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