she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
