All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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