the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
