he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
