yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
