would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
