we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
