Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
