May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
