How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
